Sticky Situation

(in three parts)

Daydreams into nightmares. Control into chaos. From inside to outside.

Maladaptive daydreaming is a fantasy situation that interferes with the everyday life of those experiencing it. Some have called it an addiction, others a trap.
This performance video explores the effects of daydreaming and its darker sides. It shows the progress of getting overridden by one’s thoughts and imaginings. From it is all in your head to your head is in it. Daydreaming that takes your day. Through variations of repetitive actions in durational performance, the video tackles the experience of losing control of yourself to yourself. Who is the villain? Who started it? And do I get out?
For best experience watch with headphones.

With performance, animation and music from MDT.

Trailer

Daydreaming

My practice-based research project explores daydreaming through performance and video. Inner monologues, imaginings, visualising – what we understand as ‘thinking’ is a spectrum of experiences across the human species. Daydreaming is ‘a spontaneous and common mental activity characterized by a shift of attention from the external world to private and self-generated thoughts and images’. Psychologist Jerome L. Singer divided daydreaming into three categories characterised by their themes and the control the person has over the situation. Maladaptive daydreaming is an ‘extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and interferes with work and interpersonal functioning’. In my performance, I wanted to explore the journey from positive into uncontrollable daydreaming.

Reflections

I wanted to research and test how mirrors affect the viewers perspective on performance and space. I was intrigued by the possibility of including the viewer into the work without direct audience participation – they could see themselves in it. Yayoi Kusama used mirrors in her work in a similar manner, as she wished to see herself both as the creator and as an inherent part of her installations. In part two of the video, I use mirrors to mediate the performance from mirror to camera. The mirror also makes both the activities happen onto me, as the lines on the mirror start covering my reflection. Furthermore, in between each part of the video and at the very end, I left black screens to potentially mirror the viewer as they watch the video.

Materials

The research conducted over several weeks was primarily practical. I was engaged in finding materials to work with and on. In the first weeks, my materials included receipt paper and different types of markers and pens. Using these materials to create line-art (where every line tried to match the one before it perfectly), I tested the creation of this over longer periods, with the paper on the table, on the ground or taped to a wall. I then moved on to printed matt photographs, first using the photo as a blank canvas but then focusing the line-art to either draw attention to the shapes or the light sources on the photo. The next trial involved receipt paper and a broken mascara, where I used the mascara tint and wand to create the lines.

I then tried the line art on my face, using white face paint to translate the lines normally becoming onto a level sheet of material to make a similar effect while drawn onto my three-dimensional face.

I decided to try the lines in a less stable and static environment, by animating them and giving them movement in space. I used them both with a static monochromatic background and animated on top of videos.

I also used tape to create the lines on mirrors. I liked the stickiness of the tape, also the fickleness of the material, the instability of it juxtaposed the otherwise calming effect of the line-drawing.

Music

An important part of my process was finding the right audio to match the parts. I realised that although I had created a long playlist of carefully chosen songs to fit my ideas, I did not wish to use an already existing piece of music to drive my meanings. So, I listened to the songs, paying attention to the effect it had on my body and mind and then tried to emulate it through experimenting with different tempos, keys and time signatures until I found the perfect combination. For part one and part three, I composed piano pieces which are both examples of that, with part three’s closest inspiration being Etudes: No. 3 by Philip Glass.

Evaluation

Working on my research project made me realise how important it is for me to be in charge of every aspect of my performance. From the start, I mulled over ideas of making the set pieces myself, sewing my costume and composing the music. As the current situation in the world challenged the progress of my performance, I had to abandon a few of my ideas. However, these challenges produced work which served its purpose and meaning.

The switch from developing an installation and durational performance into creating a performance video was tricky. With what was supposed to unravel over 4 hours turned into 15 minutes, I decided to make changes to the audiences involved in the piece. One of the aspects most important to me, the comfort of the audience, became secondary as I found that I wanted the audience to feel the anxiety I was portraying.

Using different materials to complete a similar action was fruitful in terms of seeking out the best ways to portray the meanings I wanted. Going from pencil to face paint to tape and from paper to face to mirror created variations of the action, which developed their outcomes. All of the separate actions created something, yet the stakes of the creation were different. As the video shows all three stages, it creates a sense of progression, a broadening of borders and perspectives.

As the current state of the situation has changed which spaces and materials were available to me, it also hindered the experimentation I could do. In the future, as the world allows for more installations, I would like to keep experimenting with different materials, doing the actions on a larger scale, both in space and duration.

Sticky Situation (in three parts) also won the prize for Best Practical Dissertation.